Welcome to my Journey
I was born and raised in Bogota, Colombia. My father moved to the United States to pursue a better life for our family. At the age of 17, my mother, my sisters and I were granted permission to reunite with my father. I arrived at Los Angeles International Airport on a December night and embarked on what would become an adventure that would turn my life completely upside down. An adventure that was only the start of many cultural transitions that would shape my personality, career choices, and perspectives in life. This blog is a mosaic of anecdotes and stories that illustrate my experiences and the many lessons learned throughout my personal and professional journey.
Why Psychology?
The first challenge in my journey was to become comfortable with my own silence and internal struggle as I learned to communicate with others without the comfort of using words.
As an immigrant teenager, my inability to speak English prevented me from communicating with others and developing friendships. It also made me an easy target for bullying and dismissiveness. This led to feelings of isolation and powerlessness, as I was unable to understand what was going on around me and what was required of me. At the same time, my family expected nothing short of success from me, given the magnitude of their sacrifice. This internal responsibility led me to face this challenge the best I could: by focusing on learning this new language.
All of my activities, even leisure ones, gained an educational purpose. During school days, I spent long hours translating my homework to Spanish, completing it, and translating it back to English. During my weekends, I would join my sisters as we would watch movies at least three times. The first time with Spanish subtitles, the second time with English subtitles, and the last time without any subtitles. I think we would all agree that this is why we memorized most of the movie The Lake House. :). In this way, I was able to increase my vocabulary and better learn the pronunciation of words. Though these activities allowed me to adequately perform in my classes, they did not change the fact that I could not communicate with others outside of my family.
Every one of my blog posts will be accompanied by images that will highlight what I learned throughout my journey. These are the lessons that worked for me. I hope you find them useful.
Attending school became an internal battleground. I was terrified of being asked to read out loud, speak or share anything about myself in public. Mostly because it often ended in feelings of embarrassment, since I would clearly confuse others or express my thoughts awkwardly. The library was my escape and the best place to hide from any kind of spotlight. Thus, I would spend entire school days without uttering one sound--communicating only through gestures. I would spend countless hours observing others interact while trying my best to intuitively understand their conversations from their nonverbals alone. Always hoping that my silent presence would not make anyone uncomfortable. Being on the sidelines and in silence became a comfortable space for me to understand the English language. Over time, a shift in my perspective allowed me to overcome my fears of speaking it. I began applying that same observing approach to my own experiences when trying to express myself. From an outsider’s point of view, I was able to appreciate the humor, absurdity, and irony behind what at the time felt like true failures. This reframing increased my willingness to fail, as it would not only help me improve but it would also remind me to not take myself too seriously.
Altogether, these strategies allowed me to become a fluent English speaker—one whose words to this day continue to occasionally escape her. This entire process helped me learn about what grit meant for me and what I was willing to embrace to achieve my goals. Most importantly, I developed an intimate relationship with the complexities of our interactions and the impact of the cultural norms we often take for granted. I also learned that nonverbal behaviors could speak louder than words, and that the experience of connecting with others emotionally was not limited by our conscious communication. These lessons inspired in me a desire to study Psychology, to deeply understand the metaphysical and the impalpable processes that drive us, impact us, and make us who we are.
This curiosity has carried me through many more struggles, failures, and successes as I pursued a career at the intersection of science, behavioral health, and digital therapeutics. In future posts, I will dive deep into how science and technology guided me to understand myself, others, and the world around me. I will share how I coped with my experiences of inadequacy, alienation, and discrimination as a Hispanic, immigrant, female, and first-generation college student. I will discuss what providing therapy taught me about the intricacies of healing and the art of designing for health promotion.
In all honesty, this sharing of experiences is my own way of overcoming my fear of speaking out and articulating my thoughts in the open. I hope this blog can help me connect with those who might appreciate that I sometimes see my stories as ridiculous, the questioning and confusion that I often go through, and the different narratives that help me find my answers and sanity. After all, I hope that some of you find my insights relatable, thought-provoking and are willing to share your own.
